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Strategy for a Penile Implant Ad

translated by the author

One nice day, the advertisement for a clinic specialized in penile implants in Los Angeles decides that it needs to have a new approach in order to be more successful in the business.

It decides that there is no better place to ask than the clinic specialized in breast implants located in Las Vegas. It needs to understand the reasons why breast implants are more popular (and more respectable) than penile implants. Why is it that women keep competing with each other to make their breasts larger and harder? Sometimes, after they finish one implant job, they would come back to get another one because after they have consulted with their friends, their friends’ implants turn out to be bigger. Why is it that men don’t feel the need to fix their penises in such a collective manner? Why is it that penile implant ads can only be circulated in a surreptitious way through personal emails while breast implant ads are plastered all over the city’s billboards?

The advertisement for the Las Vegas clinic specialized in breast implants has a lot of experience because this town is filled with exotic dancers who needs silicon to cushion their breasts while pole dancing. It gives a brief and straightforward answer:

“You should try to find a nation that still practices matriarchy; you probably will be more successful there. If that matriarchal society is anything like our patriarchal society, then the women in power would already have trained their men to have a major lack of self-esteem. Thus the competition between men to get bigger penises would be more self-evident. But the optimal situation would be if you could find a country where the tradition to measure penises is public and commercial as our tradition to measure breasts; you would be 100% successful there.”

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